falling off the wagon

I have a problem. I am addicted to reality television. Let's take a few moments to track my favorite distraction.

It began early in life. I remember my mom (Pam) coming home from work, and telling me not to watch "that crap," usually referring to Ricky Lake or something like that, but even worse was late at night I would sneak downstairs to watch the Real World or some might even remember Undressed.

I distinctly remember the Real World Seattle , which came out in 1998. (I checked on wikipedia. Yep, I did. I mean, I'm already online.) There I was, part way through middle school, 11 or 12, watching these crazy fools interact with each other. That was only the beginning of the weirdness reality tv brought into our living rooms, bedrooms, and now even on planes.

Who could forget a real turning point in these brain melting candy... bringing semi-celebrities into the embarrassment that is participating in reality television. Anna Nicole Smith. When it first aired, my mom (Alyson) and I stared with mouths open and we kept asking each other "Is this for real?" We couldn't figure out if it was a bad joke or a woman with a drug problem or supposed be reality tv. Unable to peel our eyes from the screen we knew we would need more.

Which reminds me:
Upstairs the other night, we hosted a game night, and there was a controversial match of Celebrity played. Compete with pointed fingers, screaming, accusations, and even a little name calling. During the first round, someone from the other team got stumped. The seconds were running as Diane kept time on my phone, as the appointed referee, an integral role. Finally time ran out, Diane called it, and then a crumpled piece of rectangular paper was getting waived in her face. "Is this even a celebrity?!" JP demanded, head sea-sawing between his shoulders. Diane grabbed the paper out of his hand, she opened her mouth to speak, but JP, had continued to yell "I don't even know who this is!" and "This is not a celebrity!"

I looked over her shoulder to read "Nicole Smith," scribbled down. We laughed and Diane made her ruling as soon as it was quiet enough.

Back to the real story:
Anna Nicole, may she rest in peace, really paved the way for VH1's dubbed "Celebreality," and beyond. There have been some real gems: Bret Michaels, The Osbournes, and of course my favorite, Flavor of Love and all the spin offs. Thanks to gifts exclusively from my mom (Alyson), I am the proud owner of full DVD sets of some of these shows.

My current relapse into reality binging, has been brought on by my mom (Alyson), as she is clearly my worst enabler. In addition to feeding my addiction with Anna Nicole, Flavor Flav, and New York, told me just the other night that I should check out "Jerseylicious." I looked on hulu, the style network, and then took it to a google search. The best I could find was 3 minute clips, but I cannot make it through a reality experience 3 minute clip at a time. Especially when we all know that the most addicting reality characters are those full of New Jersey in their hearts.

In my hunt for this new reality show, as I was looking around hulu, I made the mistake of clicking on the "reality" genre. Little did I know I was just a click away from my 2001 favorite... Temptation Island.

The Premise: Let's take 4 couples, separate them from each other, and stick them with 15 singles picked out specifically to fit their tastes. Now take a second, and just try to imagine how completely fucked up in the head and the heart you'd have to be to think that this was any shade of a good idea. Yikes.

You all should also know that during a week of unemployed pms, this is the best medicine. Hopefully I'll post again before finishing Season Two.